Sweeney Todd Wiki
Advertisement
[Toby]

Ladies and gentlemen

May I have your attention, please?

Are your nostrils aquiver and tingling as well as that delicate, lushious, ambrosial smell?

yes, they are, I can tell.

Well, Ladies and Gentlemen,

that aroma enriching the breeze,

is like something compared to its succulent source

as the gourmets among you will tell you, of course.

Ladies and gentlemen you can't imagine the rapture in store,

just inside of this door!

There, you'll sample Mrs.Lovett's meat pies, savory and sweet pies, as you'll see.

You who eat pies Mrs. Lovetts meat pies conjure up the treat pies used to be!

[Customers]

Over here, boy. How about some ale?

Let me have another, laddie!

Could we have some service, waiter?

could we have some service?

What About that pie boy?

[Toby]

Ladies and gentlemen-

[Lovett]

Toby!

[Toby]

Coming, excuse me

[Lovett]

Ale there!

[Toby]

Right, Ma'am!

[Lovett]

Quick, Now!

[Customers]

God Thats Good!

[Lovett]

Nice to see you, dearie. How have you been keeping? For' me bones is weary!

Toby! One for the gentlemen.

Hear the birdies cheeping

Helps to keep it cheery

Toby! Throw the old woman out!!

[Customers]

God,Thats good!

[Lovett]

What's your pleasure,dearie?

No, we don't cut slices.

For' me eyes is bleary!

Toby! None for the gentlemen!

I could up me prices. I'm a little leery.

Business couldn't be better, though.

[Customers]

God Thats Good!

[Lovett]

knock on wood

[Sweeney Todd]

Psst!

[Lovett]

Excuse me

[Sweeney Todd]

Psst!

[Lovett]

Dear, See to the customers.

[Sweeney Todd]

Psst!

[Lovett]

Yes,What,Love? Quick,though,the trade is brisk.

[Sweeney Todd]

But it's six 'o' clock

[Lovett]

So it's six 'o' clock?

[Sweeney Todd]

It was due to arrive at a quarter to and it's six 'o' clock!

[Lovett]

...And it's probably already down the block! It'll be here! It'll be here!

[Sweeney Todd]

I've been waiting all day! It should have here by now!

[Customers]

More hot pies!

[Lovett]

Will you wait there coolly?

[Sweeney Todd]

You'll come back when it comes?

[Lovett]

....'Cause my customers truly, are getting unruly and-- What's your pleasure,dearie?

Whoops! I beg Your Pardon!

Just me hands is smeary.

Toby! Run for the gentlemen!

Don't You love the garden? Always makes me teary. Must be one of them foreiners.

[Customers]

God, That's good, That is delicious!

[Lovett]

What's my secret? Frankly, dear, forgive my Candor. Family Secret, All to do with herbs.

Things like being careful with your coriander. Thats what makes the gravy grander.

[Customers]

More hot pies! More hot! More pies!

[Sweeney Todd]

Psst!

[Lovett]

Excuse me.

[Sweeney Todd]

Psst!

[Lovett]

Dear,see to the customers.

[Sweeney Todd]

Psst!

[Lovett]

Yes,what,love? Quick, though,the trade is brisk.

[Sweeney Todd]

It's here!

[Lovett]

It's where?

[Sweeney Todd]

Coming up the stair.

[Lovett]

I'll get rid of this lot as they're still pretty hot and then I'll be there!

[Sweeney Todd]

It's about to be opened or don't you care?

[Lovett]

I'll be there! I'll be there! but they'll never be sold if they get cold.

[Sweeney Todd]

But we have to prepare!

[Lovett]

Incidentally, dearie. You know Mrs. Mooney. Sales have been so dreary

Toby! Poor thing is penniless. What about that loony, lookin' sort of beery.

Oh Well, got her come-uppance and that'll be thruppence

[Customers] God, that's good! That is--de--have you--licious--ever tasted smell such--Oh my God--what more that's pies good!

[Sweeney Todd/Lovett]

Oo-oo-oo.Oo-oo-oo.

Is that a chair fit for a king? A wonderous, neat, and most particular chair?

[Lovett]

It's gorgeous! It's Gorgeous!

[Sweeney Todd]

You tell me where is there a seat can half compare with this particular thing!

[Lovett]

It's Perfect!It's Gorgeous!

[Sweeney Todd]

I have a few minor adjustments to make.

[Lovett]

You make your few minor adjustments.

[Sweeney Todd]

they'll take a moment I'll call you.

[Lovett]

You take your time I'll go see to the customers.

[Sweeney Todd]

I have another friend!

[Toby]

Is that a pie fit for a king? Such wonderous sweet and most particular thing?

[Lovett]

Its Gorgeous! It's Gorgeous!

[Toby]

You see, Ma'am, why there is no meat pie can compeat with delectable pie.

[Lovett]

Its Perfect!It's Gorgeous!

[Toby]

The crust all velvety and wavy.

[Lovett]

The crust all velvety and wavy.

[Toby]

That Glaze,Those Crimps.

[Lovett]

That Glaze,Those Crimps

[Toby]

.And then the thick, succulent gravy..

[Lovett]

And then the thick, scculent gravy.

[Sweeney Todd]

And now to test...this best of barber chairs.

[Toby]

One whiff, One glimpse.

[Lovett]

So rich, so thick, it makes you sick.

[Toby]

so tender that you surrender

[Sweeney Todd]

Psst!

[Lovett]

Excuse me

[Sweeney Todd]

Psst!

[Lovett]

Dear see to the customers

[Sweeney Todd]

Psst!

[Lovett]

All set love?

[Sweeney Todd]

Quick now!

[Lovett]

Me hearts a flutter!

[Sweeney Todd]

When I pound the floor....

[Lovett]

....When you pound the floor...

[Sweeney Todd]

...its the signal to show that i'm ready to go

[Lovett]

yes, you told me before. You'll be ready to go when you pound the floor.

will you trust me?! will you trust me?!

[Sweeney Todd]

I just want to be sure. When I'm certain your in place I'll pound three times.

Three times.And then You....?

[Lovett] *Clang!Clang!*

Three Times!

[Lovett]
  • Clang!Clang!Clang!* If You-!
[Lovett]
  • Clang!Clang!Clang!* Exactly!
[Customers]

More hot pies!

[Lovett]

God!

[Customers]

More hot more pies!

[Lovett]

Right!

[Customers]

More!

[Lovett]

Wait!!!

[Lovett]
  • ClangClangClang*
[Sweeney Todd]
  • ClangClangClang*
[Customers]

More hot pies!

More hot more pies!

More hot pies!!

[Lovett/*Toby]

Eat them slow and feel the crust how thin

I/*She rolled it. Eat them slow 'cause every one's a prize. Eat them slow 'cause

thats the lot and now we sold it. Come again tomorow!

[Lovett]

Hold It!

[Customers]

More hot pies!

[Lovett]

Bless me eyes!

Fresh Supplies!

How about it, dearie?

[Toby]

Is that a pie fit for a king...

[Lovett]

Be here in a twinkling!

[Toby]

A wonderous sweet...

[Lovett]

Just confirms my theory

[Toby]

...and most delectable thing?

[Lovett]

Toby! God watches over us. Didn't have an inkling. Positivly eerie.

[Toby]

you see why there's no meat pie--

[Lovett]

Toby! Throw the old woman out!

[Customers]

God, that's good! That is--de--have you--licious--ever tasted smell such--Oh my God what perfect--more that's pies such flavor--God, that's good!

Advertisement