Pirelli's Miracle Elixir is the seventh song in the movie. It's sung by Toby, Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett.
During the song, Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett head to St. Dunstan's market, where Tobias Ragg is selling the "Miracle Elixir" of one Adolfo Pirelli. The two soon learn that the elixir in question is nothing but a concoction of urine and ink, and nothing but a fraud meant to separate people from their money, and waste no time in spreading this word to everyone at the market, disrupting Toby's sales pitch in the process. This serves to draw out Adolfo Pirelli himself, leading into The Contest, where Sweeney challenges Pirelli.
Lyrics[]
Toby: Ladies and gentlemen!
May I have your attention, perlease?
Do you wake every morning in shame and despair
To discover your pillow is covered with hair
Wot ought not to be there?
Well, ladies and gentlemen
From now on you can waken at ease
You need never again have a worry or care
Discover a miracle marvelous rare
Gentlemen, you are about to see
Something wot rose from the dead--
On the top of my head!
T’was Pirelli’s Miracle Elixir
That’s wot did the trick, sir
True, sir, true
Was it quick, sir?
Did it in a tick, sir
Just like an elixir
Ought to do!
How about a bottle, mister?
Only costs a penny, guaranteed
Does Pirelli’s
Stimulate the growth, sir?
You can have my oath, sir
’Tis unique
Rub a minute--
Stimulatin’ i’n’ it?
Soon you’ll have to thin it
Once a week!
Sweeney Todd: Pardon me, ma’am, what’s that awful stench?
Mrs. Lovett: Are we standing near an open trench?
[Simultaneously:]
Mrs. Lovett: Pardon me, sir, what’s that awful stench?
Sweeney Todd: Must be standing near an open trench!
Toby: Buy Pirelli’s Miracle Elixir
Anything wot’s slick, sir
Soon sprouts curls
Try Pirelli’s!
When they see how thick, sir
You can have your pick, sir
Of the girls!
Wanna buy a bottle, missus?
Sweeney Todd: What is this?
Mrs. Lovett: What is this?
Sweeney Todd: Smells like piss
Mrs. Lovett: Smells like-- phew!
Sweeney Todd: Looks like piss
Mrs. Lovett: Wouldn’t touch it if I was you, dear
Sweeney Todd: This is piss
Piss with ink
[Toby starts singing faster]
Toby: Let Pirelli’s
Activate your roots, sir--
Sweeney Todd: Keep it off your boots, sir--
Eats right through
Toby: Yes, get Pirelli’s!
Use a bottle of it!
Ladies seem to love it--
Mrs. Lovett: Flies do too!