The Contest is the eighth song in the movie. It's sung by Signor Adolfo Pirelli and spoken by Sweeney and Beadle Bamford.
During this scene, Adolfo Pirelli, angry at Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett's disruption of his business, demands to know who has the nerve to say his elixir is piss. Sweeney then proceeds to challenge Pirelli to a contest, with Pirelli's reputation being on the line, and Beadle Bamford being the judge. During the contest, Sweeney at first doesn't even seem to be doing anything, which serves to feed Pirelli's egotism and arrogance, and as Pirelli continues into the song, Sweeney quietly prepares to shave his customer, until finally at the song's climax, Sweeney smoothly shaves his customer with but a few deft strokes of his razor, soundly defeating Pirelli. After his defeat, Pirelli vows that he and Sweeney will meet again before then proceeding to take out his rage on Toby as they depart. The Beadle comes to congratulate Sweeney, and Mrs. Lovett gives him directions to Sweeney's barber shop on Fleet Street, where Sweeney promises to give him "the closest shave he will ever know."
Lyrics[]
Adolfo Pirelli: I am Adolfo Pirelli
Da king of da barbers
Da barber of kings
E buon giorno, good day
I blow you a kiss!
And I, da so famous Pirelli
I wish-a to know-a
Who has-a the nerve-a to say
My elixir is piss!
Who says this?!
Sweeney Todd: “I do. [...] I am Mr. Sweeney Todd of Fleet Street. I have opened
a bottle of Pirelli’s elixer and I say to you that it is nothing but an
errant fraud, concocted from piss (Mmm..)and ink. Furthermore -'Signor'-
I have serviced no kings, yet I wager that I can shave a cheek
with ten times more dexterity than any street mountebank!”
Adolfo Pirelli: “You hear zis foolish man? Now, please, you will see how
he will regret-a his-a folly! *throws cape* TO-BY!”
Sweeney Todd: “Who’s for a free shave?”
[The Crowd cheers: ME, ME, ME!]
Sweeney Todd: “Will Beadle Bamford be the judge?”
Beadle Bamford: “Glad, as always to oblige my friends and neighbours.
...The fastest, smoothest shave, is the winner.”
[Music begins]
Adolfo Pirelli: Now signorini, signori
We mix-a da lather
But first-a you gather around
Signorini, signori
You looking a man
Who had-a da glory
To shave-a da Pope!
Mr. Sweeney whoever--
I beg-a you pardon
You’ll probably say it was only a cardinal--
Nope!
It was-a da POPE!
To shave-a da face
To cut-a da hair
Require da grace
Require da flair
For if-a you slip
You nick da skin
You clip-a da chin
You rip-a da lip a bit beyond-a repair!
To shave-a da face
Or even a part
Widout it-a smart
Require da heart!
Not just-a da flash
It take-a panache
It take-a da passion for da art
To shave-a da face
To trim-a da beard
To make-a da bristle
Clean like a whistle
Dis is from early infancy
Da talent give to me
By God!
It take-a da skill
It take-a da brains
It take-a da will
To take-a da pains
It take-a da pace
It take-a da GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE! (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)
Beadle Bamford: “The winner -- is Todd!”
[The Crowd cheers to End] :)